chat star
by marik2004
Summary: random stuff on tv.
1. Default Chapter

**chat star**

y'ello everyone! it's me again... I know you're probably sick of me already... but.... oh what the hell! here's my new story, hope you enjoy... cos if you don't!...

interviewer: hallo! today we is gonna talk to some random anime characters, wow! anyways, everyone say hi to kai hiwatari!

applause

kai walks on stage and glares at the audience. he looks really censored off.

kai: hmfh! if I knew you were going to be that happy, I wouldn't have bothered to come on to the flamin show.. I am so going to see my manager about this. besides, I'm missin a murderdolls concert! I'll come back later... preferably when you're all dead! ha!

he walks off stage but is stopped by the interviewer.

interviewer: hey don't be like that! we have a special guest for you.

kai: if it's not an axe welding murderer, threatening to kill you, then I don't care.

interviewer: no....

kai: well who is it? thinks to himself this is a waste of time.

interviewer: audience, give a big hand to.... rachkai! applause

rachkai walks on stage, kai blushes as she trips over some cables

rachkai: stupid censored cables!!

she spots kai and smiles

rachkai: hi kai!

kai: stammering h-h-hhhelloo rrachkai...

rachkai stands next to kai and kisses him. kai smiles

interviewer: ahh, I think young kai has found love!

kai stops kissing rk and turns to the audience

kai: **BURN IN HELL ASSHOLE!**

audienceinterviewer:

kai: don't ever say that again, or I will get my grandpa to kill you, or worse...

interviewer: what could possibly be worse than death?

kai: two things, 1:being turned into a test tube baby!

rachkai: Nooo!

kai: and B: spending an eternity with sponge bob square pants

rachkai: **NOOOOOOOO!!!!**

interviewer: oh god no!

audience: ooohhh...

interviewer: yeah.. anyways, kai do you know how to count to ten?

kai: no-I mean yes!

interviewer: well go for it then.

kai: umm.. okay then. he starts to count, but is struggling one, um.. two... seven.. car...bon-bons.. ummm...sixty-three.. eleventy! there said it!

rachkai: wow! that was so cool!

she kisses kai and he blushes.

interviewer: rolls eyes perleeesse...

kai: you're just jealous, I mean you are so ugly, that it would be a miracle if someone asked you out-or they could have a very severe eye problem-which I doubt.

the interviewer turns to the audience, who are hanging on every word. he looks at them and asks them what they think.

interviewer: come-on people, do you think I am that ugly?

the audience scream and run out, the ratings person comes onstage to complain.

r.p: what the hell happened?!

coordinator: erm.. sir.. I believe we have just lost our audience.

r.p: I can censored well see that... how many of our viewers are left?

coordinator: well, at the start, we had about 6 million viewers, but now we have only two million.. most of them are either partially sighted- or blind.

r.p: shocking! totally shocking!! this is a live show, and you are showing this crap!? it's not even after 9pm... and who's face was that?

interviewer: mine, sir....I.. I'm sorry...

r.p: my god! you look like kai hiwatari's arse!

kai: he- hem...

r.p: who are you?

kai: I happen to be kai hiwatari... and my arse is ten times better than that retard over there.points to the interviewer

r.p: you are fired.points to kai

kai: who, me?

r.p: yeah you!

kai: but I don't work for you.

r.p: well would you like a job?

kai: yeh.. sure whatever.

r.p: great, now you're fired. ha!

kai: why you! punches the interviewer

interviewer: hey! what was that for?!

kai: I dunno.. I guess I just felt like it.

the ratings person turns to the interviewer and shouts at him

r.p: you- ugly, you're fired!!

interviewer: damn! I'll sue you!

r.p: no. I don't think you will.

interviewer: okay, this is just great, first my wife leaves me, then I find out my dog died, and now I have no job! and get this... I don't even have a flamin dog! goood bye! walks out and slams the door. a plant pot falls and hits him on the head. he yells censored!!

the ratings person turns to the audience and sees that they have all come back.

r.p: excellent.... now.. after the break we'll be talking to another guest, we'll also have a new presenter.

he walks off stage while talking to himself, he doesn't realise that his mic is still on.

r.p: stupid censored! why are they so censored! why I aught to censored, censored, censored, censored, censored !!!!!

the audience are shocked, r.p notices what he has done, so with one last censored he turned his mic off.....


	2. chapter 2

**part 2**

marik2004(me) walks on stage looking dazed. she shouts at the camera people.

marik2004: y'ello! so how much are you paying me to do this?

the camera man looks at her and thinks what a freak

cm: how about £250?

marik2004: no dice. I want something edible..... something lemony?

cm: lemon window cleaner?

marik: now that ya mention it.... no! oh hell, who told you about my cleaning habits? what I mean to say is gimme lemon bon bons or I won't do it.

cm: yeah... okay then coughsfreakcoughs

after her little conversation, marik2004 looks to see rachkai talking to kai.... in the background there is a radio playing... a news flash comes on.

_we have just had an important report. lemon bonbon's are at an all time low... eventually they are going to stop being produced cos only two people buy them at this moment in time rachkai and marik2004. in effect there is only a limited amount left...so if you are a fan of the bon bons... beat up anyone who has some. I'm fatboy usedtobesilm- butneverrellywasslim reporting._ and I'm off to buy some Windex... for erm... cleaning purposes.. yeah that's it cleaning purposes.. ha!

marik2004 runs over to tell rachkai the news. she sees that she is eating a bon bon, it's the last one from a discarded packet on the floor. marik2004 has to act fast!

marik2004: **OH GOD NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! **does a slow motion jump while running

she aims for rachkai's mouth to grab the bon bon- and completely misses. rachkai puts the bon bon in her mouth and pulls marik2004 up.

rachkai: how's it goin? was up?

marik2004: rubbing her head oh nothing. did ya hear the report on the radio?

rachkai: yeah. the report on the shortage of Windex.. that's really gonna kill ya.. I know how much ya like to drink it.

marik2004: what?! no I was talking about the bon bon shortage....

rachkaimarik2004: **NOOOOOO!!**

rachkai: so anyways how's life?

marik2004: oh not bad, I had to ground marik again. cos he murdered Tyson.

rachkai: and that's bad because?

marik2004: well three things... one ever since he killed Tyson, I have started to act like him (Tyson) not only that, he came back from the dead... plus marik was asking for it. he has been into my cleaning supply again. thinks to self plus I wanted to find a reason to take his millennium rod.

rachkai: and what about yugi?

marik2004: oh, he got stuck doing the time warp to "rocky horror" after we went to mia's house (girl from my school. not mai valentine.. got it? good.) see the tape broke and it got stuck on the time warp song. yugi was dancing to it so much, that he actually want back in time. now he's only chibi so now he's at home while my cat looks after him. they are going to watch sailor moon together. oh and sakura said she was looking for ya... she didn't look too happy. she said something about paying her back...

rachkai: embarrassed oh about that? yeah um... I'll have to speak to her about it later.

marik2004: about what? have you been doing stupid stuff again?

rachkai tries to look innocent- but only manages to look as innocent as marik on a normal basis- which is pretty evil anyways no... not that I can think of anyway. how come you didn't get Voltaire to baby-sit?

marik: cos if I did, yugi would end up killing him.... or Voltaire would try and use yugi to take over the world. in that case, both yugi and what's his face? oh yeah Voltaire would both die. and I don't even know his number.... unless....

rachkai: I'll explain everything later. but now I have to go sit in the audience cos you're on air in like 2mins.come on kai! grabs kai's arm

kai: right then. seya around. walks off

marik2004: mumbling dranzer is a retard.

kai: turns around what?!

silence

kai: you just crossed the line, now face the wrath of my muscles! ha!

marik2004: in hysterics what muscles?

kai: damn! I forgot, I lent them to Rei- damn! hey Rei! gimme back my muscles!

Rei: I'll fight ya for them.

kai: this AIN'T over.

rachkai: annoyed **JUST SIT DOWN ALREADY! JEEZ! FER CRYIN OUT LOUD!**

kai: shut up censored!

rachkai: you little censored I am gonna censored you weather you like it or not! hits him now lets go sit in the audience.

kai: fine. they go to sit down.

marik2004 walks over to the audience to begin the second part of the show

marik2004: dazed erm... h- hello.she tries to read the placards but is having trouble.

_scratch butt_

check!

_walk over to the audience_

right...now.. oh hell- forget what the placards say! I'll make it up myself! our next guest is some random dude hey it is hard thinkin on the spot no.. wait it's Tyson granger!

member of audience: hide the food!

laughs applause Tyson walks on stage acting like god.

Tyson: not realising they are laughing at him thank you! thank you! I know you all love me! thinks out loud I'm sooo popular!

kai gets totally censored off what the censored are you doing here?!

Tyson: I'm a guest on the show, because- I am sooo great!

kai: nooo... it's because you are a fat dumbass, all's you do is eat food and censored stuff!

Tyson: eating a donut {where'd it come from?} that's sooo not true!

kai: see you are doing it now!

Tyson: doing what?

kai: argh!!! hits Tyson

Tyson drops his donut and shouts.

Tyson: hey! are you gonna pay for that?!

kai: no... I am not gonna stand around.. while you stuff ya fat face and talk about how "great" you think you are! which I must add you are not. walks away come on rachkai.

rachkai: follows kai byee marik2004!!

marik2004: oh go censored yourself.

rachkai: aright I will!

Tyson: he- hem..

marik2004: what?!

Tyson: I believe you were gonna talk about how great I am?

marik: mishearing the "great" part oh yeah! Tyson granger this is your life!

weird music

marik2004: you were born some time ago no one really cares when censored happened, then ya became Beyblading champion with ya lover dragoon.

Tyson: no- dragoon is my bit beast.

marik2004: sure! that's what they all say... anyways can you tell us why you did stuff?

Tyson: what stuff?

marik2004: well, the fact that you invested in 100 solar powered torches.

the audience laughs as Tyson goes red with embarrassment.

Tyson: I thought I was getting a good deal! I mean 100 solar powered torches for £50 is a pretty good deal if ya ask me.

marik2004: no- it's not. what are torches used for?

Tyson: erm...to see in the dark?

marik2004: sarcastically good. and what does a solar powered torch need to work?

Tyson: the sun....

marik2004: and when do ya use a torch?

Tyson: when it's dark......

marik2004: so how can a solar powered torch possibly work in the dark?!

Tyson: realising his mistake censored! why am I so stupid?!

marik2004: because you were born.

Tyson: censored you!

he runs off stage and cries like a little girl. kai smiles from behind stage, he knew Tyson was dumb, but not that dumb... anyways, the audience are starting to get a little bit restless...........

JJ is sat in the audience with a laser gun. he is randomly shooting things...when he sees jess, who also has a laser gun. they both jump up and link, then run backstage. they both have very heavy chains on and they chink across the floor. meanwhile Tyson comes running in with a black eye. he is screaming.

Tyson: **nia samma! nia samma!!**

marik2004: what's up with you?

Tyson: gasping for breath like- I-said- they're-coming!

marik2004: who's coming?

Tyson: points to the corner of the stage t- the- them!

marik2004 looks to see a giant donut shouting abuse at Tyson. she brings out an inflatable boxing ring and shouts..

marik2004: ladies and germs... pathetic or what? for the first and last time ever... for one night only! Tyson's food finally takes a bite out of him!!

applause

marik2004: iiiinnn this corner we have tysoooonn grannngerr!

applause

marik2004: aaannnd in this corner we have the giaaant dooonuut!!!

applause

ding-ding! round one!

Tyson: but- but I...

the donut hits Tyson

Tyson: ow!

giant donut: ha!

Tyson tries to take a bite out of the donut.. but kai jumps in and forms a tag team with the donut. the donut opens up it's mouth and Tyson disappears...

marik2004: aaannnd the winner is.. giant donut!

applause

rach kai runs on stage with a blow torch yes she has lost the plot, but hey! who hasn't?

rachkai: **die!! ha! I want to see a fiery inferno! the leprechaun tells me to burn things! muhaaaaaaha!!!** sets fire to the stage and starts laughing **who's** **laughing now!! ha!**

marik2004: what the?!

jess and JJ appear on stage...

jess: hey guys, guess what! me and JJ are married!

rachkai:** burn! burn in hell!! ha! **pours petrol over the audience **ha!**

as the stage burns, jess and JJ head bang. marik2004 has no idea what to do! her solicitor comes on stage.

solicitor: hey m2004! we got a problem!

marik2004: I know! I'm not blind!

solicitor: no... it's about payment...

marik2004: yeah. I asked for loads of lemon bon bons...

solicitor: yeah, about that... well there's none left.

marik2004: n-no bon bons?

solicitor: no.

marik2004 grabs the blow torch from rachkai. she has gone completely insane

marik2004: burn! burn!**!!**

kai stands there and looks at them all.

kai: whoever wrote this story is warped.

marik2004: oh kai...

kai: what?

marik2004: I wrote the flamin story!!

kai: you're warped.

marik2004: well at least I'm not dead!

kai: neither am I.

marik2004: oh really? takes Jess's laser gun and shoots kai

kai: oh shi... dies

the end!

to read the sequel ya have to go to rachkai!


End file.
